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thegoddamazon: laughingfish: inflateablefilth: theodorepython: miami-tea: The Defibrillator Toaster My mom would be so annoyed… every morning I would run into the kitchen screaming “WE’RE LOSING THEM!!! BEEP BEEP BEEPBEEPBEEP!” “DON’T YOU DIE ON ME, DAMNIT!!!  NURSE, WE NEED 12 CC’S OF CREAM CHEESE, STAT!!!” He’s bread, Jim. Time of deliciousness: 7:15 A.M If we don’t restart his heart , he’s toast!  JESUS CRUST. JAM IT! “Daddy’s in a butter place now, kids.” I WASN’T EVEN GOING TO REBLOG UNTIL I SAW THE SHIT TON OF PUNS HES BREAD JIM BEST PUNS EVER. HE’S BREAD, JIM. LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOO TUMBLR IS KILLING ME TODAY